This seems like a pretty silly question, but let me explain.
We assume that the main goal of life is love, happiness and security of property - whether they mean to you. Amazingly, many people aspire to get these things, but doing this deviates from the target matter. I can not help but think of my son play video game scene, the protagonist frantically down a zigzag path every few feet to escape the explosion, around every corner there is a zombie.
Everyone is allowed to painful relationships, because they do not want a person. Many people do not like doing their job, but the job can bring a certain salary, and find other work was difficult. People often choose a safe way, in a comfortable state to avoid any discomfort, but being caught numb, unexamined, Ren Qisheng life passing.
I understand. I also like this before.
When so alive, life becomes a marathon obstacles, you are trying to escape, rather than trying to achieve. Try to escape the pain, to escape loneliness, escape failed. People can focus on and spend a lot of effort to avoid what they do not want, and they want it will get lost in the chaos, only made the poor little progress in that direction.
Although I am not absolutely believe in every word of every sentence the law of attraction, but I very much agree with its basic principles, the more a person trying to escape something, the more make this thing a reality. Because you do not want rather than what you want to become a focal point of life.
In this regard, no one can compare with me. Stay in a marriage in so long, I'm not happy and there is no development, but it is my comfort zone, although in this comfort zone where I do not feel death. So I have the courage to leave, I was caught up in another relationship, because I was afraid of losing my age face, which would have been my misfortune and single down. Oh, I really expert in this field.
Unconsciously, to escape our lives can become manipulators behind many acts. We are not making a decision, but to make decisions based on fear, and limit their own happiness, because the decision involves risk, but that decision will reflect what we want to be the kind of person we want life into what it was like. Fear to make these choices, we may make to avoid that feeling of discomfort, but will not make us closer to your goal. Therefore, we are safe, but stagnant.
Pema Chodron, an American nun in her book "jump: release their old habits and fear" in this life compared to life in a cocoon. She writes:
Fearing we cocoon - we are afraid of the feelings and reactions of life will be triggered upon us. We are afraid of what might happen to us in. But if the evasion tactics are effective, then the Buddha did not have to teach us anything. Because we can avoid painful way to bring security, happiness and comfort, this is all according to the biological nature, then it will not have any other problems in the world.
Chodron advised us to discomfort, fear of situations as opportunities rather than obstacles, and encourages us to "begin to adapt and become relaxed into any possible experience." She wants us to forget the feeling of leg shaking, forget the so-called story, intermittent, just breathe, just live in the moment. Sober and rational, conscious and even with some brutally honest with yourself, treat your intentions, and behavioral grounds.
I feel fear and fear is actually your brain amygdala temporarily leadership position to tell you to avoid danger. But in fact what is really dangerous? Or it's just not familiar with your own instincts and unknown circumstances? Taylor Clark in his book "Courage: equilibrium pressure, fear and calm and cool under pressure, the beautiful new science," wrote:
In a sense, some fear that these things are not necessarily bad things in nature. It just means that you do not spend enough time in it to overcome fear, you have to deal with it yourself naked, we had to fear, fear is subjected only way to overcome it.
Now, I know from their own experience that this is true, but in a conscious effort to broaden their limits regularly make themselves fear. You know what happened yet? Fear disappeared. May, not exactly, but each time the fear will be reduced. But I decided to no longer guided by fear and restricted life. Been there, done it, fear is no longer working.
In order to feel joy and love, I had to ask myself feel everything, including the pain and fear, but also between anything in between. This is all the force of life, to escape out of any part of it, I will deny their experience integrity.
(Translation: Qing Melody)
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