First, the story begins
Female friends find love my inquiries among the problems, I hope I can give some advice as "Do you want to break up" the issue of her tangled. After the initial exchange, I learned that she had a boyfriend long distance relationship to work in state-owned enterprises, because her boyfriend is always very strong, and in addition to her own obedience has no way to change this relationship, not willing at this has always been a strong management of state, began to tangle on whether to make the decision to break up ...... asking her sense of mutual relations, she used the word "child find" such a description, because she thinks this own unconditional obedience is like looking for an active abused "masochism" and doubted their current this can be described as "child find" love relationship is a very unusual metamorphosis relationship, Do you want to break up the question she hesitated, partly because there is hope of an early end of such a perverted love.
Second, everyone has a "child find" gene
Although she fears seem justified, but in fact "child find" is not a class of people of the patent, but all people are born with the ability or potential, in other words, everyone has "child find" gene, but living in different environments decided not to express this gene, or the expression of more or less.
TA interactive analysis from a psychological point of view, "child find" this behavior (or conscious tendency) derived from the five kinds of PAC status "obedient children." Aside ordinary people do not understand emotionally said, "to find child" is just a habit, or expect others to find a strong personality control. Because everyone has different growth process, if previous experience life more require a person to exhibit "obedient children" inner self, it will naturally grow up accustomed to this expression of personality, which looks like "child find" gene was expressed, it was very frustrating to themselves or others labeled a "child find" tag.
Third, the innocent boyfriend unfortunate "lay the gun"
I find this girl is very tangled communication on how the label torn off the body, and trying to break up with her boyfriend to do this - for this man is this really unfair.
Although it seems to be not entangled in the girl with the strong boyfriend, but in fact it is the girl let her boyfriend became a "scapegoat," and if you really separated, the boy is bound by all the accused, while girls is to get everyone's understanding and even encouraged: "obedient girlfriend so he does not cherish all day dictating to you ...... divided Sister Ye to introduce you to a boyfriend who will take care to ensure that better than his one hundred! times ...... "
If this is really another boyfriend, the outcome would happen then? The answer is most likely to break up!
The so-called "turnip cabbage all have love," used to eating chili Sichuanese dish occasionally to Dayton Guangzhou nothing, but if every day to eat light will change a problem - just select tastes and personal preferences related , but also with cultural and geographic environment which are closely linked.
Partner selection is also true that when a person from childhood accustomed to strict family discipline manner and a habit of playing by the control of "obedient children", only to find a strong enough and the other half in order to achieve a habit (but not necessarily comfortable )status.
For this tangled girl, to influence her family for her decision the strong men are more likely to be her partner, she is now a strong personality are her boyfriend and selected results. In other words, if the girl's "taste" is not adjusted, even chose to break up, or will repeat now tangled in the back of love.
Fourth, the "break up" the hidden problems behind
Although the point of view to see the girl tangled "Do you want to break up" problem, but in fact the problem stems from her independent personality development. TA interactive analysis from psychological point of view, that is, her body energy among the five kinds of PAC "adult self" start strong, realized that he always used in the "obedient child" feature is not appropriate, but not strong enough to change the heart of the energy distribution pattern, which will start from trying to change the external conditions, so the current boyfriend as a relatively good change "external conditions" almost be used to "flag ceremony" the.
In fact, this tangle arises because the girl's psychological becoming mature, find the original and were not aware of, but because of the lack of relevant experience in trouble. When understanding of the real causes of the problem after she had tangled heart can also gently down, then it will not longer have to "Do you want to break up" and brooding, so you can follow the next communication seeking to change the current relationship status, methods and ideas to promote inner growth and development to proceed.
(Written by: Big Kitchen career had)
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