Family biggest lie, than the "children do not understand anything," when family members think so, it is often clear conscience implement the harm to the child, do not know it. In China, there are many such families, the children in their daily interactions with family, and much harm. Let's take a look at what these injuries Yes.
1, family discord
Adults do not know how to humility, often blame each other. In fact, both parents fighting, parents and the elderly or not, and, for children both in terms of psychological thunder, rain and lightning, but suffer from their age is still small, powerless, had to hide in a corner quietly sobbing.
Harmonious family atmosphere for the child's growth, like plenty of sunshine and moisture. The relationship between parents is the child of the weather, the child's mind is still very immature, bad weather not only hinder the healthy growth of children physically and mentally, often will leave a lifetime of psychological shadow. Build a warm, mutual love of family, the parents of the child duty.
2, the parents conduct
The teacher just talked about the beauty of language, adult home heard class just by the morality education, his parents littering, Jianqian do not pay well. This may allow children ethic has not been formed, the inner conflict and confusion.
The progress of civilization, so that children in morality and accomplishment of high starting point than their parents, let us put aside parents' shelf, the children learn it, and this is the result of the development trend of the times, a little embarrassed, in fact, we need to children also learn plenty.
3, parents do not accompany their play
Childhood child's favorite family game together, unfortunately, not many such opportunities. Great people have their own world and play in China, playing with children has long been considered dispensable.
Spend more time with children, and more children with games, a change from one day watching the children grow up, it is a wonderful thing, the kids enter puberty or some older, less such opportunities, or take advantage of now enjoy lots of providential happy. Dads can not think and did not face with the wife and kids, it is machismo feudal dross, the higher the degree of civilization and social class, the more attention and family harmony.
4, can not plead
No chance of appeal, if insisted on defense, is considered insubordination talk back, certainty punished.
This is typical of the feudal patriarchal, are equal, the opposite of the spirit of democracy, harm the hell! Just think, if the child has become accustomed to adapt to injustice, in addition to seek permission if the child is no longer their own idea, our beloved children how to face their life? A rational culture and dare to express their views to keep children than adults face important.
5, parents bad habits or habits
Cigarette smoke, alcohol smoke blackening the sky, the sound of mahjong, the other side is the bad habit of bad character, adults drink more, mahjong lost, temper up, the children suffer. Children always suffer for no reason, it is difficult to have a sense of security.
Bad habits, not only for his body great harm, but also to bring their families to worry about. Regardless of that habit lasted for many years, or bite the bullet and quit it, there is no can not change the habit, only people who do not want to change!
6, parents arranged
Whether it is clothes, timing, or friends, choose to apply for interest groups, they can not be themselves. Adults explanation is always: what children know, this is a hello.
Parents arranged the phenomenon is widespread in China, or are parents worried about, or is that their idea is right and important, in fact, even then a small child, but also a person, they need to respect the interests and feelings, they should have autonomy within a certain range.
Deprive the child autonomy, not independence, not only easy to grow up, and there is no chance to make something of their own to complete the process, instill confidence, self-esteem easily formed character. Only give them the opportunity to be themselves, they can develop their own personality, they are not without assertive.
For friends, we should give them the guiding principle, but it is best not to interfere with the specific, in fact, what kind of friend, what kind of benefits, learning bad friends may courageous, living brain, can also enrich the child's character is what we adults do not have to have a friend do?
7. Language injury
Koubuzeyan adults, not knowing "remarks to three Winter, verbal abuse, assault June cold," If you're not a child, you never appreciate being scolded by their parents, belittle taste.
Even in the face of their children, and do not speak no choice, the smaller the child's age, they are more dependent on the parents' evaluation, negative evaluation, poor emotional harm to the child is great, in fact, the same word there are different angles and ways to say, kind and encouraging perspective than blame and belittle it can bring positive results.
8, Study, exam
School life, life Learning, no proper childhood freedom and fear their children do well the pride, well on the exam. "Tonight blizzard." Such volatile harm to the child, many people have personal experience.
Parents of children with honors desire is understandable, but the problem is, how can really help the child, in fact, most of the parents of the child's request and urge, and did not work and thankless task.
9, no privacy
Diary was watching, was turned bags is a common practice, in order to fully monitor our parents every strong outsmart adults, the case of weak storm, also are called: the higher review.
Tell a story, there is a girl, her parents fear detours love, inseparable, confiscated the mobile phones, the parents take turns escorting from school to school, the children go home to be locked in a room, for this girl had a great resistance to for adults a little "color", the result is the most stringent in the custody of their parents, the girl became pregnant. When reporters interview, the girl said: "The mobile phone turned over, can I borrow the students, I have the key at home, he went to my house downstairs, the phone and called me, I went from window keys left to go, he went to my house to open the door, then I went out. I was locked in the house of the parents did not effect them more so 'detained' me, I will give them some color to see, I'm pregnant is to give them the 'colors' is their 'forced' out. "this is the reality of a people very sad true story. Not to mention that this approach does not respect the child, the thing itself, custody and control, not only ineffective but also dangerous, so-called "do not plug does not flow, more than not."
Well, not monitoring, how to do it? The most effective way is to establish a reasonable child attitudes and values, in short, parents can do is to teach children to choose, instead of monitoring, replacement and forced the children to choose from.
10, is suspected wronged
Exam, won the essay score was suspected vases broken, less money, smaller than their brothers and sisters cry, is considered to be their own himself out of kindness to do something good, so smashed, or further He did not finish, it was mistaken naughty severely criticized the meal.
No investigation, no right to speak, even if the child naughty, naive, the "criminal record", before we know the truth, it should be keeping everything in doubt, do not easily send a punitive expedition, being wronged can feel good taste, such behavior is great distrust and lack of respect for children. Think we were friends or leading suspect and innocent taste, we know more troubled children inside.
11, parents dishonesty
Things promised not admit or greatly reduced or postponed indefinitely, no matter how much your hope, hope for long.
Parents dishonesty two obvious negative effects: First, parents greatly reduced the prestige, the prestige of the parents is the foundation of Second, the dishonest behavior of the parents to the children set a negative example, you say does not count very difficult for and expect children to what it says, as long as you can not fully monitor the presence of children dishonesty subject.
12, are not respected
The model was built to be thrown away, affixed to the wall paintings were torn, the raising of small animals sent or eaten. Do their own embarrassments, I enjoy talking about parents.
Parents are not respected, and a big reason is because they do not own childhood by their parents respected. Do not know how to maintain self-esteem of children is the most parents failed parents.
13, the lack of tolerance and understanding
We were young, thinking and physical abilities are not mature, very often make mistakes, our intention is far from trouble, but we can not get proper tolerance and understanding.
Chinese people generally lack the spirit to try, and a big reason is because childhood, failed attempts to be tolerant and not encouraged, so did not dare to try. Friends suggested that parents fault tolerant children unintentionally, encourage children to try the idea in mind, though not necessarily successful, but which child will get a chance to grow.
(Source: Evening News)
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