Love at first sight is it? How such feelings future development? We should whims and pursuit of the feelings generated by it at first sight? Love at first sight is indeed a strong love, heart line to pursue this love can not be said to be "blind", but should be encouraged higher cognitive way. However, even with the heart of love is not profound intuition, love at first sight lovers often reluctant to rational thinking, the results disappointing ending. Experts suggest that the emotional, rational thinking required after love at first sight, to spend more time to get along together, getting to know each other's character character, to see what each other the wrong place, emotional and rational are OK, in order to create a happy marriage.
? Supermodel and president at first sight for you?
Italian supermodel, pop singer Carla Bruni and former French President Nicolas Sarkozy affair in December 2007 exposed the following year in February held a wedding. Bruni said in an interview that they are love at first sight - it is not only fast, but also occurs instantaneously, "I have no hesitation, immediately wanted to marry him, I feel that when I am with him, a bad thing. it will not happen, I learned from an early age to feel anxiety gone, "" I've never been married I come from Italian culture, did not want to divorce my husband before retiring, I was the first lady.; until his death, I will always be his wife. "
Love at first sight more common in hotties
Love at first sight story numerous, sometimes hard to fathom. Some people think that this can not be love, but it is a sexual attack - just looked at, you'll deeply in love with each other? And the stranger will stay together, spend the rest of his life? People who do not believe in love at first sight usually put two reasons:
1. You did not fully understand each other, you "love" is just wishful thinking. Appearance is the basis of sexual attraction, but love also need to understand each other's personality traits, such as whether a friendly, honest, intelligent, humorous and so on. This is not possible after a glance out of the need to spend some time to know.
Professor of philosophy at the University of Haifa in Israel Aaron season husband believe that this view ignores the possibility that we will assume that the other side has a certain character, although this is usually not correct estimate. For example, in the glamor aura, looks beautiful person is generally considered a good personality, so at first sight is often the object of hotties. Although at first sight may be misleading, but the genuineness of your love, but also very strong.
2. Love is not just a feeling, or a series of acts. Love at first sight is only a temporary emotional reaction, you do not have time to implement the action, so it is not true love.
This season husband pointed out that, under the effect of emotion, we are ready to take action, but not implemented for various reasons, including moral scruples, the cost of operations, and other social norms. To give an extreme example that paralyzed people can have love, though they can not muscle activity.
To find common ground with each other after love at first sight
Romantic love is usually based on the idealization of others, that other fantasy perfectly. This can be both an instant sensation, and can last for many years. Similar feelings of jealousy there, also out of someone else's false belief, derived from a very limited understanding. But if only last a short time, this love can also be very strong.
However, this intense love may be superficial. The study found that "there is a charm about the opposite sex you drink coffee," caused by emotional intensity and "You saved the life of the neighborhood kids from a car accident" almost, but the former emotion lasted only 20 minutes, the latter can last 5 hours or more, and thus the latter is more profound.
Love at first sight is also prone to the "halo effect" that would see the advantages of each other on the one hand feel very attractive, and then think it is good in all aspects, including the character. This season reminds husband, although the first impression of the beauty of the formation of a great impact, but over time, mutual understanding after the aura will fade.
Therefore, the first sight of the need to spend more time together, activities together, in the exchanges to learn more about each other. Of course, if you are hit by lightning each other's beauty, they want to extend the time to spend, so at first sight often the beginning of a long and profound love.
But this season Cardiff reminder, if we find the other side of the personality characteristics and initial impressions differ in subsequent exchanges, the relationship to hanging. Studies have found that, compared with the soon fell in love at first sight of the men and women of character similarity is low, especially in the inner outgoing and emotional stability. Therefore, if you can find something in common with each other's character is the key to the future quality of intimacy.
"The only true love occurs in one eye, the second eye is gone." - American playwright Zangwill
Spouse: heart line but also a brain
Intuition often accused of unreliable, but one study tracked 135 newlyweds found that intuition and marital satisfaction is closely related to the next generation to see the photo after the spouse and other circumstances. People can not accurately predict their marriage will not be happy, some people will actively look forward to the results of married life is not as wished. For example, some people do not want to face up to their spouse discontent. Nevertheless, this is still considered the season husband is a good thing.
Also found that people who believe in love happier than people who do not believe in premarital hesitates women before marriage divorce rate 2.5 times higher than women did not worry about, even if the former is not a divorce, it flies relatively happy. Thus, marriage hesitant, confused, worried that people might on rational considerations and married, but a higher risk of future divorce.
Listen to your inner voice, you will make your marriage happier. This season husband thought that is not clear inner intuition perceived value is higher than the brain of a conscious intellectual activity, the "blind" love is not necessarily stupid. He cited two examples -
40-year-old married woman Elizabeth is a very devoted ladies, age after encountering a married man, all of a sudden be attracted. She was a smart man, taking into account all married to each other, we do not want to leave your present spouse, and two great personality differences - he is a cautious, shy person, and she is an outgoing, courageous, humorous people. She felt that this obsession is crazy and stupid, but then her heart line, and he fell in love, and now again began a happy marriage.
Janet is also a heart line of people, give up the opportunity for further studies, hesitate to marry an we all think good enough for her man. He has what good? He encouraged Janet to escape the control of the traditional family, her own space. After marriage, she thought of marriage is "as long as we love each other on the line." Although they married crazy in love, but his drinking problem gradually, a serious impediment to the marriage. Eventually, Janet left her husband.
Two women are the heart and above the line, but Elizabeth use their clever minds to think, but Janet is completely without a brain. Cardiff this season, said heart line no clear criteria, emotional and intellectual rational intuition is different, recommend priority intuition, but intuition could be wrong, it is best to integrate the two methods should not ignore any aspect.
(Author: Wu Jun instrument)
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